Dealing with difficult people tips

One of my favorite hobbies is resolving common myths and uncovering their underlying truth. The truth of everything in our universe is based on nature and its laws which surround us and sustain us in life. When I uncover a truth it grounds me reminding me we are part of a big system of Nature with specific natural rules which determine everything.

Neither Good or Bad So for example, a rainy day is not really bad since it provides moisture to balance the earth’s
eco systems. A sunny day is not really good either because it causes all kinds of things like drought, food shortages and sunburns. In nature such events are neither bad or good.

They are simply nature balancing its systems to ensure its survival and evolution.
The Milk Myth How about the myth of milk…the myth cow’s milk is good for you and children. It is full of nutrients. Right? The truth is cow’s milk is the most common food allergy children develop.

The Motivation Myth Now how about the myth of motivation…the myth you can motivate others. The truth is biologically and psychologically each person is always internally self-motivated. To think others can motivate you is to assume you don’t have a choice of where you focus your attention. This is preposterous!

Just ask any police officer if their gun motivates people to obey them or the law. This is why the most dangerous call they can get at a police station is a domestic dispute. When families are focused internally on their feelings they often ignore the external world entirely and so are very unpredictable and so very dangerous.

You can certainly encourage others to self motivate, but you have no real control over them. If you want to check this out ask any parent if they can control their child and listen carefully to their response. You can certainly encourage people to do specific things if you appeal to their value system. But controlling others is an illusion. This is a critical awareness when dealing with “difficult people.”
A Father of Modern Psychology I remember Dr. William Glasser, considered the last surviving “Father of Modern Psychology,” a world renowned psychiatrist, author and speaker, stating influencing others is more difficult than brain surgery. Glasser said with brain surgery you have a cooperative and passive patient. When influencing another person, he added, you may or not have a cooperative participant. This makes it a much more challenging task.
The Happiness Myth

And, how about the myth of happiness. There is a popular myth you seek happiness, pleasure without pain, as your ultimate goal in life.

The truth is you seek a state of both physiological (body) and psychological (mind) balance, harmony, or oneness with your surroundings.
In biology the term is called “homeostasis.” For example, when you go to your physician with some ailment, your pain tells you one of your body’s organs or systems is off balance.

Your doctor will prescribe some action to restore a physiological balance to your body… to restore homeostasis.
In the same way, when I work with a client, they perceive pain, so some part of their thinking is off balance. I prescribe some action (focused accelerated learning) to restore a psychological balance to their mind to restore equilibrium
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